Waiting for Next Steps: Top 3 Distractions

I’m in a holding pattern. Still waiting for my MRI. Making this decision has been a whole lot of hurry up and wait. Hurry up and get to your appointments, then wait for the next step. I’m not complaining, because I have opportunity to elect this for myself, and am not being forced into surgery because of a lump or cancer diagnosis.

There’s always a moment where I get a twinge of pain and think, “OMG it’s growing inside of me! This is it.” or “I’m feeling a full sensation. Oh, because I have to pee. Am I peeing too much? What does it mean? My ovaries are filled with cancer!”

I should have prefaced this by letting you know, my mind has never been quiet. If it wasn’t BRCA, I would be worried about something else – my house catching fire while I’m not home (happened already); a deer running in front of my car and it’s antlers piercing my heart; a stray bullet from a gun fight lodging inside my brain… the usual rational thoughts. I call this “final destionationing”.  I imagine dying in obscure ways or disasters hitting because if death is coming for me, it will get me one way or another.

To keep my mind from final destinationing, I find distractions. Here are my top 3 from the past couple of weeks:

1. Planning a Party

IMG_4813My daughter is turning 4 soon and wanted a Moana birthday party. It was going to be small, but the invites kept flowing. I’ve spent many late nights scoping out Pinterest and Amazon to find just the right party. Then I took that perfect party and pared it down to things I would actually execute on a reasonable budget. So, we had pizza, snacks and cake. I did hand make 15 Heart of Te Feti necklaces out of polymer clay as party favors. Carving each one took a good bit of time and focus. I also learned how to tie adjustable necklaces. Thanks YouTube!

2. 90210 on Amazon Prime

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Do you all remember Brandon being such a goodie goodie? It’s almost painful to watch. I was also shocked Kelly’s mom fell off the wagon and went from a cocktail by the pool to doing lines of coke in the bathroom… in one day. Pure gold. Every night before bed, I try to watch one episode, and I “sing” the theme song with what can best be described as a mouth trumpet. I’m surprised my husband hasn’t tried to smother me with a pillow.

3. S-Town Podcast

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This is old news, yes. I’ve listened to this series TWICE already. I obsessed over the mystery of hidden treasure, family secrets, small town drama, and mental illness. I couldn’t get enough. I was so wrapped up in John B. Mclemore’s life, I forgot about mine.

These are just the top 3, but there are so many more things I do to keep my mind busy – work stuff (this takes up a good portion of time), planning our trip to Disney, cleaning while listening to other podcasts/and or audio books, and so on.

This past week, I went to a forum for breast reconstruction and I got to feel-out (or up) some implants!

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The number one thing I learned was that I could have implants after I have the DIEP procedure OVER the muscle to add extra fullness IF I’m not happy with the size. At least there are options! One other cool thing is the plastic surgeons were talking about using liposuction to get fat from other places to “fill-in” newly reconstructed boobs and make them look better. I know they weren’t trying to convince me I was making the right choice, but the forum just made me more excited for what’s to come!

Do you ever feel like your mind never turns off and need to find distractions? I couldn’t go to sleep without 90210 or some other show playing in the background! I’d love to know what you use for distractions… leave some ideas for me in the comments section!

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3 thoughts on “Waiting for Next Steps: Top 3 Distractions

  1. I took that same picture of my hand holding a silicone implant this morning at my PS appointment! Your distractions are good ones…. planning a trip is always the best and most fun type of mind diversion. I’m not good at silencing the mind either, but a nice, calm, yoga session is always so nice. I am a big foodie so I’m all about planning the dinner menu for the week and experimenting with food. My kids, however, are 19 and 20 years old and off at college sooooo I actually have the time for myself to play with my food after peaceful-yoga-me-time. Also, I enjoy online shopping.. but not actually spending any money. It’s like window shopping except with a glass of wine in my hand! I look at whatever it is that is tickling my fancy at that moment (currently, I am obsessed with bathing suits, even though I have a perfectly good, pretty little one piece that I adore) so I spend a bunch of time looking for something I want, I put things and stuff in my online shopping cart (found along the way, floppy summer hats and heart shaped sunglasses) and by the time I realize I could be spending a bunch of money on things I do not need (not even a little), I lose interest and move on to doing something productive. Again, I’ve got time like that on my hands, but it for sure is a nice distraction from all the serious stuff. I’ll have to check out the original 90210 on Amazon. P.s. Brandon was always a big wuss to me. Along with wimpy Donna and whiney Kelly. Dylan and Brenda were way more up my alley. I always had a thing for the moody kids.

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    • I love to window shop online, fill up my cart and never check out too! It makes me really think about pulling the trigger when I can see the checkout price. I agree with you – I was always a Dylan fan. My husband likes to brag that he was in a movie with Luke Perry (as an extra). He got a whole 3 seconds of screen time. 🙂

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  2. 3 seconds…. everyone has to start somewhere! I stepped on (had to google her real name) Jennie Garth’s toe one time. In the early 90s, she was at a bar in Tucson, AZ and I happened to frequent that bar and as I was coming out the door for fresh air, there she was with her entourage and BIG TOE in my way. I didn’t even realize who she was until like 5 minutes later when someone pointed out that she was at the bar. WHOOPSIE.

    I’m much more horrible in person when I’m shopping.. …meaning, I tend to spend more than when I’m sitting at my computer “shopping cart shopping”. Maybe it’s because I second guess whether it’ll fit or whether it’ll look good in the house or whether it’s the color that is portrayed on the screen, but I spend less $ online for sure. I love pretending like I”m going to do it, though. And it distracts me for quite some time and I totally forget about the whole previvin’, prophylactic surgery stuff coming up. Lots of light and peace to you as you proceed toward all your things : )

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